Expressing Gratitude – Ideas From a Self-Help Positive Thinking Book
This month I want to talk about the importance of expressing gratitude in the workplace and other aspects of our lives. For this article, I draw ideas from my forthcoming self-help, positive thinking book, Creative Insecurity.
One of the most important traits any leader can cultivate is humility, which is one of three that make up what I call, “The Contrarian’s Trifecta.” This trifecta includes vision, humility, and the no-quit gene (or grit). Humility is the most important of the three traits, the bedrock of the others. You can succeed for a while on two out of the three, but hubris is ultimately the great undoer. I think of humility as more of a habit we learn and practice than something we are born with. That is good news, right? To show greater humility in all we do, practice the discipline of gratitude.
Four Key Ways to Express Gratitude
In this article, I share three key ways to express gratitude that are personal to me and my co-author.
- Through a list or journal
- Through service
- Through love and respect
- Through what is called a “gratitude visit.”
Expressing Gratitude Through a Journal or List
Being grateful rather than entitled bears so many benefits that I’m sure you already know. Here is one way I cultivate this attitude. I have a practice of writing a gratitude journal each morning. In it, I list people I am grateful for by name. Currently, this list has thirty-eight names on it. This practice is a form of prayer for me and sets an intention for my day that comes from a place of abundant gratitude. It sets the tone for my work. At the close of each day, I pause and think, “Was this a plus day or a minus day?” I can’t remember the last time I had a minus day. I am grateful for them all.
Expressing Gratitude Through Service
At this phase in my life, I am still interested in building, but my focus is wholly on paying forward all the blessings and benefits I have experienced in life. I know there is no possible way to catch up, but I’ve got to try. There are several ways that are rewarding to me. One is by mentoring others. Sometimes this is with business founders; sometimes, it is with young people, and sometimes it is through the Stephen Ministries. Since my capacity to do one-on-one mentoring is limited, I decided a few years ago to write a self-help, positive-thinking book. I am thrilled that (Creative Insecurity) is now a reality. Positive mindset books have had a profound effect on my life, and if mine can influence at least one person, then it will be worth it.
Recently, I accepted the call to serve on the board of the board of OUR Rescue, a nonprofit aimed at ending the tragic issue of child trafficking. I realized I had to do something around this issue because how could I be so blessed and stand by while children are enslaved?
How can you increase your own desire to serve selflessly? When proceeding with a project or an action, ask yourself your motive. Are you doing it for yourself, for credit, for self-importance, for financial rewards, or are you doing it for a cause? Humility comes more naturally when you’re devoted to a cause instead of being devoted to yourself. If you’re doing it for yourself, work on an honest attitude adjustment. You can’t fake this. When you’re genuinely devoted to serving others, the no-quit gene follows.
Expressing Gratitude Through Love and Respect
The final and most important discipline of humility is love. When you love others, you will serve and respect them. You will be unselfish about your work, and your ego will naturally stay in check. It begins with loving yourself. Love is the most vital force in the universe and should underscore everything we do. When we come at our work from a place of love, things have a way of working out. The ego has an easier time sitting in the corner. Why? Because love takes up all the space. There is little room for ego if your heart is bursting with love. You will also be more motivated to persevere in your work when you are doing it from a place of service. The no-quit gene and humility strengthen each other.
Respect has been one of the core values in each of my companies. We once did a whole product launch around the single word “respect,” and the notion of giving pharmacists the respect they deserved and often lacked in the hospital environment. We also photographed patients, elevating them as the center of all we did.
In this era of being people multi-tasking and being distracted, it has become far too common to treat wait staff in restaurants and cashiers as though they are not even there. I make it a point to use people’s names and open doors for others. I treat my housekeeper with the same respect as any CEO or dignitary, opening her car door and expressing my gratitude for her.
Expressing Gratitude Through a Special Visit
The gratitude visit idea comes from New York Times Bestseller, The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have an Extraordinary Impact, by Chip Heath and Dan Heath. The idea is to express gratitude to someone who blessed your life but you have not thanked before. It might be a teacher, coach, mentor, or friend. This challenge is not only to thinkof this person but to do an exercise called a gratitude visit.Here is what you do. Think of someone who had a profound impact on your life, someone who you never reached out to and told how they influenced you. Then, sit down and write that person a letter telling them specifically what they did to make a difference in your life. Ideally, deliver the letter in person.
Here is what Chip and Dan Heath say about the benefits:
“Researchers have found that if you conduct a gratitude visit, you feel a rush of happiness afterward—in fact, it’s one of the most pronounced spikes that have been found in any positive psychology intervention…Better yet, researchers say, this feeling lasts. Even a month later, people who conducted a gratitude visit were still happier than their peers in a control group.” – Chip Heath and Dan Heath
I hope this article has given you an idea or two for how to better express gratitude. In doing so, cultivate the discipline of humility.
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